1. HOW DID YOU MEET?
We actually crossed paths in an online grief course Shelby taught in 2020. But because there were no live components to the course, Shelby didn't actually "see" Heather for the first time until months later, when Heather attended a Zoom workshop Shelby led in February 2021. Heather turned her camera on and Shelby was immediately smitten with Heather, who was crocheting a sweater while listening to Shelby teach. After the workshop, Heather left a kind, thoughtful comment on one of Shelby's Instagram posts, and Shelby—for the first time ever—slid into someone's DMs! We found out we were both queer and single and made plans to go on a Zoom date in early March. We met in-person a little more than a month later at Peace Arch State Park, which was an ideal spot to connect between Heather's home in Canada and Shelby's home in the States. That first in-person date lasted nine hours!
2. TELL US WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR RINGS.
They each contain elements of our parents who died. Heather's engagement ring is her mum's wedding band, and we had it polished and engraved with one of Shelby's doodles. Shelby's engagement and wedding rings contain diamonds from Heather's mum and Shelby's mom. Every time we look down at our hands, we see not only each other, but people who loved us immensely.
3. HOW WAS THE PROCESS OF DESIGNING YOUR RINGS?
It was such fun! We more or less knew what we wanted but we needed help bringing it to life. Viviana and the whole team at Adornment + Theory made it easy. By the time we received CAD renderings of the rings, we felt super confident in our design decisions. And of course, the "big reveal" of Shelby's wedding ring on the day of our wedding was a beautiful, sparkling surprise!
4. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF YOUR WEDDING?
Heather really enjoyed getting ready together at the hotel, especially zipping Shelby into her dress before whisking away to City Hall. Shelby's favorite part was being noticed by a Chicago architecture boat tour group while taking photos near State Street. The tour guide congratulated us over the microphone and the tour group cheered and waved at us! Of course, we laughed and waved back! (Attached a picture for y'all!) We also derive a great deal of meaning from numbers and chose a palindrome as our wedding date (5.25) so we had yet another way to honor our loved ones who've died. (Mom, Mum, and Dad are all palindromes.)
5. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD HAVE CHANGED?
Not a thing. Right after getting engaged, we agreed that eloping was the best decision for us, but we felt that much more validated in our choice to elope after experiencing the unexpected death of a dear mutual friend and watching others ride the emotional roller coaster of planning large weddings. Creating a day that was just for us and our love ensured that our focus was only on our commitment to each other. We weren't performing for anyone, and the only feelings we were required to manage were our own—and there were many! It was a joy to spend the whole day together celebrating our partnership and taking the next big step of marriage.
6. ADVICE FOR COUPLES WHO ARE PLANNING THEIR WEDDING NOW?
Do what feels best to the two of you, free from the "helpful suggestions" of friends and family. Start by picturing or writing down how you'd like to feel on your wedding and then design your day around that. There are so many ways to get married now that the "big, white wedding" is no longer the only option. Oh, and work with Adornment + Theory for your rings, of course! Infusing lifetime jewelry like our wedding rings with legacy and meaning was such a treasure.
PHOTOS @elopetochicago @beckybrownphoto